By Azizeh Rezaiyan, LMFT | Azizeh Rezaiyan Couples Therapy
Layoffs can feel like the ground shifted under your feet. They shake your sense of security, spike money fights, mute intimacy, and can leave both partners feeling alone in the same house. In Portland’s tech, startup, and creative world, this is happening to more couples than ever.
I’ve worked with hundreds of you—software engineers, product managers, designers. The pattern is familiar: shock → blame → distance → despair… unless you interrupt it early.
If you landed here searching “layoff therapy Portland or Silicon Valley,” “couples counseling job loss,” or “marriage therapy after redundancy,” you’ve already taken the most important step.
Why layoffs feel so personal
Layoffs threaten identity, safety, and routine. Common reactions include shock or numbness, anger or self-blame, low mood, sleep changes, and worry spirals about the future. In therapy we:
- Normalize the stress response (your nervous system is doing its job).
- Teach quick regulation tools (breath pacing, grounding, short daily structure).
- Separate the event from your worth so you can act, not spiral.
In a city like Portland, where work ties into community and lifestyle, this can feel especially raw.
The emotional stages (not always linear)
Shock / Denial – “This can’t be real.”
Anger / Protest – Frustration at the company, the situation, yourself—or each other.
Sadness / Grief – Loss of role, routine, and certainty.
Meaning-making – What matters now? What do we choose next?
Re-engagement – Rebuilding routine, confidence, and connection.
Therapy helps you move through these stages without getting stuck in isolation, blame, or avoidance.
How to heal after a layoff (for couples)
- Stabilize yourself. Sleep window, a daily walk, meals, hydration. Brains think better in regulated bodies.
- Acknowledge the loss. Treat it like grief; share feelings without fixing.
- Protect your bond. Two short check-ins weekly: “What I’m feeling,” “What I need,” “One small plan.”
- Build a rhythm. Alternate job-search blocks with recovery blocks; celebrate small wins.
- Limit overthinking. Set a 10–15 minute “worry window,” then let it go.
- Seek support. Friends, mentors, and therapy reduce isolation and keep momentum.
Relationship stress patterns to watch
- Intimacy dip. Anxiety and shame can mute desire. We rebuild safety and emotional connection first so intimacy returns naturally.
- Money fights. Replace blame with shared planning: numbers first, feelings second, decisions last.
- Role pressure. Cultural and family expectations can intensify stress. We’ll navigate those respectfully and practically.
My approach (Portland couples & individuals)
I use evidence-based methods—Emotionally Focused Therapy, CBT skills, and nervous-system regulation—with a warm, culturally responsive lens. Sessions are offered in person or online for Portland residents. We can work individually or as a couple; many do a blend.
FAQs
Is being laid off traumatic?
It can be, especially when it’s sudden and feels uncontrollable. Therapy helps complete the “threat cycle,” reduce hyper-vigilance, and restore a sense of choice.
How long until I feel like myself again?
Many people notice improvement within a few weeks once routine, connection, and skills are in place. Your timeline is personal; we’ll tailor it.
How do I explain a layoff in interviews without shame?
Brief fact + contribution + future: “My role was eliminated during a reorg. I led X and learned Y. I’m excited to bring Z to…”. We’ll rehearse until it feels calm and true.
Do you take insurance?
I don’t bill insurance directly. Many relationship and job-stress concerns aren’t covered, and insurance often requires a mental-health diagnosis on your record. Keeping sessions private lets us focus on your goals. If your plan offers out-of-network reimbursement, I can provide a superbill you can submit.
Ready to take the next step?
A free 20-minute consultation can map your first week of recovery. Choose individual, couples, or both. In-person and online available.
Some useful resources:
Oregon:
California:
